Wondering

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Well, it's been nearly a year and a half since I started this blog. For the benefit of of the newer Followers of mine, many of which I don't know, like the ones from Loma Linda, Mountain View, Houma, and the Canadians, I'd like to give you the roots of the blog. Unless you've read back over the 400 or so posts, you wouldn't know that I actually began writing as a means to learn more about myself, and how I came to be me.

But as time passed, and Followers began to follow, the blog evolved into more of a site to provide a forum for my Followers to take a deeper look into the issues of our daily lives. And so, the Thought Dock was created to channel information that I receive from a variety of sources to you, after of course, I separate the meaningless crap, twist the rest of it into a way that you can understand, and then distribute that Wisdom to you.

But, at times, like this time, I revert back to wondering about my roots. It wasn't until I was about 10, that in Those Days, we were poor. I guess what rang my bell was that when we moved to Brooklyn, I got my first exposure to wealthy people. I mean the rich Jews that hired needy kids like me to shovel their driveway in the winter, mow their lawn in the summer, and rake their leaves in the fall.

I wasn't ashamed or anything like that when I noticed that most of my school mates never wore the same clothes (or the same shoes for that matter), twice in one week. But it did make me realize (as I hate to admit) that I wanted what they had.

I wanted to live in my own house, rather than a rented one as we always had. I wanted that boat that my father wanted but never could afford. I wanted my children to wear new clothes rather than hand-me-downs. I wanted them to have nice presents on their birthdays and Christmas, and I wanted them to have the opportunity to have fun growing up.

And I knew that I could have those things if I worked hard for them. But in Those Days, my plan was to quit school at 16, get a motorcycle and set off to get my dream. But in reality, I was married by age 17, and a father soon there after. Now I wonder what would have happened if I got that motorcycle then.

So, work I did. Never asked anyone for help, and I never accepted help that was offered. I repaid every loan I ever had, and learned the value of credit. And, I bought my first home. I can't remember anything that I ever stole, and tried very hard never to lie. And I was lucky, really lucky. Timing seemed to be everything in my life as I learned to make investments and cash them in for a profit most every time.

And my children wore mostly new clothing, had new bicycles, got to do most everything they wanted. And we got that boat that my father always wanted. And we took him for a ride.

And life has always been good to me. And I know the Lord better now. And I love my family. And I no longer want what others have. And, I live within my means.

But, I still wonder,only now it's from the Thought Dock.
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