American Change

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In Those Days, all of my friends had both parents (always a female and a male) at home. Maybe that was because my dad was in the Army, as were most of my friend's dads. And my mother loved her place in life; to follow my dad wherever his career took him, to raise the children, and care for the needs of the entire family. And that she did, even sacrificing her dreams for the family. And I came to believe that was they way things were supposed to be, and for the most part, I still believe that. And I've only admired my mom and considered her a strong person for doing that.

It was only when I matured and entered into the work force, that I was exposed to single parenting. And I began to see that some of my children's friends were from single parent households. And I felt sorry for the single parents, and my children felt sorry for some of their friends. And sometimes it was a topic of conversation within our family.

Now, this morning's news headlines reported that nearly 30 percent of American households are supported by a single parent. For those that have difficulty interpreting math, that means that 30 out of every 100 homes have only one parent. But when you look a bit deeper, it also means that because the average American family consists of almost 3 children, that's a whole hell of a lot of kids that don't have both a mother and father.

I'm not standing atop a pedestal; divorce struck my family too. And not meant to minimize the hurt the divorce claimed on my family, at least my children were through college and well on their way to their own lives, when my divorce occurred.

So, one thing that I've come to learn about single parent homes, whether they began that way, or became that way, is that most of the time it is due to selfishness. No longer is either party willing to be subservient to the other, as it was in Those Days. Both the mother and father now wish to pursue their dreams, even as individuals if that is what it takes. Each has a career to pursue, success to achieve, places to go, and things to do. And to do it all, together, as a team in marriage is nearly impossible.

This post is only to give y'all something to think about. I'm not here to judge. I do believe though, that children from two parent families are generally happier. But that is not the direction America has been heading in the past 40 years.

We all know that Those Days will never return, but that is not to say that I don't miss them.
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