Oppressed and Suppressed

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Now, even though I'm oppressed and suppressed being behind the door, some things get in and out through the magic of the Thought Dock Portal.  And here is one.  I didn't write it, but I could have.  And this story is not as odd as you might think.  It has been happening to me for over 40 years now.

Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my Remington 870 right in the doorway. I gave it 6 shells, then left it alone and went about my business.

While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor boy across the street mowed the yard, a girl walked her dog down the street, and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign right in front of our house. After about an hour, I checked on the gun. It was still sitting there, right where I had left it. It hadn't moved itself outside. It certainly hadn't killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented to do so. In fact, it hadn't even loaded itself. Well you can imagine my surprise,with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people.

Either the media is wrong or I'm in possession of the laziest gun in the world.

Well, I'm off to check on my spoons. I hear they're making people fat.
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